Facing This Giant

Since my last post way back in December I have quit taking the T*pamax.  The side effects were unbearable for me and my family (let's just say I was a 'little' irritable) and just being on a medication every day for the rest of my life that may or may not work, then taking a pain med on top of that is not an option.  When the doctor prescribed the Topamax to me he said, "you may forget your children's names for a little while."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  There has to be a solution somewhere . . . 

A friend of mine and I discovered that we have similar problems with our headaches.  She was on the same med I was on and still taking a pain med, too.  She discovered a chiropractor and she has been headache free ever since!  PRAISE GOD!  I am so happy for her, she seems so much *brighter* and clearer!  You can truly see the relief in her eyes!  

So, did I try the same chiro?  You bet I did!  He took x-rays of my neck and started working on me.  My x-rays show that my neck is all konky-wompass in a few places - something that would definitely lead you to believe that it would cause a headache.  Things were going good for a while and I was definitely getting to where I was having less severe pain.  I even went about 2 weeks without any pain at all!  Is this the light at the end of the tunnel?  Unfortunately, it is not.  I still have headaches almost every day.  These are different headaches than my neck pain headache.  

I've always been convinced that I have more than one type of headache.  I have this neck thing going on that causes a headache.  I have classic migraines with an aura and everything, but I only get those once or twice a year now.  When I was younger I got them about 6-8 times a year (probably hormone related).  And I have these daily, gnawing, middle of the head, over the eyes, headaches.  They aren't bad enough that I want to take a big pain pill (don't have any) and sleep it off until tomorrow, but that sure does sound good if I could.  They are just nagging, make me grouchy headaches.

Well, I was having my normal daily headaches.  Then all of a sudden one day they got worse.  Whenever that happens I do a mental check as to what I might've eaten or done.  I know there are some foods that cause my pain to get worse - caffeine, beer (yuck, anyway), and there was something else that I had forgotten . . . Oreos!  I had been craving Oreos the past couple of weeks and eating them at night before I would go to bed with a glass of milk.  I love Oreos!  Then I had bought some orange pop.  I had assumed that all orange pop was caffeine free, but of course it isn't!  I had gone through several cans of the orange pop before I realized they had caffeine in them!  So, right now I am trying to ride out this stupid caffeine withdrawal headache (since Sunday) and the Oreos (also since Sunday).  

So, Oreos and beer, right?  Sounds very strange to have those two foods as triggers.  But both those foods have gluten in them.  So, here I go, trying to be gluten free again.  Not easy.  But if it means I will be pain free then I would have to try it.  

There are days when I look at people and think "I bet they don't have a headache.  I wonder what that is like."  What would my life be like if I didn't have a headache every day?  How much more patient would I be with my beautiful kids?  How much more would I be able to enjoy life?  How much more would I be able to accomplish in a day?  These headaches are debilitating.  They affect everything about me.  I'm not trying to be overly dramatic.  This just really sucks and I am tired of it.  So, my quest to be headache free continues . . . 

Lord, I still do not want this cup I have been given.  I do not believe it is from You.  Please take it from me.  I lay these headaches at your feet.  And in spite of them let me be joyful, patient, loving, and kind today.  Amen.

The Current

Today is a headache day.  Yesterday was a headache day and so was the day before and the day before.  Will tomorrow be?  I pray not.

Today my head hurts like it did yesterday.  It's a moment by moment thing.  I can have a headache one moment and not the next, but most moments I DO have a headache.  

What have I done within the last 24 hours to abort this giant, months long headache or prevent a headache?  I have not had any caffeine and have been caffeine free for over 4 years.  That seems to be a major trigger for me.  I have to request that doctors not put it in medications for me.  I increased my T*pamax (per my doctor's request) from 25 mg. to 50 mg.  Last night I had 2 glasses of white wine which seems to be one of the only things that really gives me relief, but, obviously, not a total solution EVER!  I only drink a glass of wine about twice a week at night after the kids go to bed.  This morning I drank 2 huge glasses of water and took two aspirin.  I have taken it relatively easy today, laying on the bed with my heated "bed buddy."  I haven't spent too much time on the computer with my neck straining.  And I've tried to eat somewhat regularly.

I DO NOT want this cup that I have been served!  My current "diagnosis" is "chronic migraines."  I do not receive this and want to have nothing to do with it.  I don't want to read about how to get rid of it, I don't want to alter my diet, I don't want to alter my lifestyle, my sleep schedule, my moods because of medication, etc.  I also don't want to have a headache every single day.

Why THIS?

Well, my name is Lori, and I have headaches quite frequently.  Right now they are every day.  I am creating this blog to help me organize my thoughts about what helps, what days are good, what I have tried, what I have read that I want to try, etc.  It'll be good I promise!